Workplace culture is shaped in everyday moments, in the casual conversations and interactions between colleagues. When a team member makes an offhand joke that could be exclusionary, how you, as a leader, respond can set the tone for inclusion, psychological safety, and accountability.
Step 1: Assess the Situation in the Moment
Not every situation requires an immediate public response, but it does require some kind of response. First, assess:
- What was said? Was it clearly exclusionary, or could it have been a misunderstanding?
- Who was present? Did the joke target a specific individual or group?
- How did others react? Did people laugh uncomfortably, stay silent, or appear hurt?
- What is the context? Was this part of an ongoing pattern, or a one-time comment?
If the joke was clearly problematic and harmful, it’s important to address it directly and in the moment. If you’re unsure, a follow-up conversation may be more effective.
Step 2: Address the Comment Constructively
If addressing it in the moment, stay calm and confident. Here are some approaches:
- Direct but neutral response: “Hey, let’s be mindful of the jokes we make—everyone should feel comfortable here.”
- Invite reflection: “I’m not sure everyone would find that funny. Can we be more intentional with our humor?”
- Call for inclusion: “We want to create an environment where everyone feels respected. Let’s keep that in mind.”
Avoid public shaming, as that can lead to defensiveness and derail the conversation. If it’s not appropriate to call it out in the moment, make a note to follow up privately.
Step 3: Have a Private Conversation
If the comment requires more discussion, pull the team member aside later. In this conversation:
- Start with curiosity: “I wanted to check in about something you said earlier. Can we talk about that joke?”
- Explain the impact: “I know you probably didn’t mean harm, but that kind of joke can make people feel excluded.”
- Reinforce expectations: “As a team, we aim to create an inclusive culture. Humor should bring us together, not make people feel uncomfortable.”
- Offer guidance: “If you’re ever unsure about a joke, it’s okay to pause and reconsider.”
Step 4: Support the Team and Reinforce Inclusion
Depending on the situation, it may be helpful to check in with others who were present, particularly if you suspect the joke directly impacted someone. This isn’t about escalating the issue but about ensuring that team members feel supported.
Also, consider using this moment as a broader learning opportunity. If humor that skirts the line has become common, it may be time for a team discussion on workplace culture and inclusion. Without singling anyone out, you can reinforce that jokes should align with company values and that a truly inclusive culture means being mindful of how humor lands.
Step 5: Model and Encourage Inclusive Leadership
As a leader, your actions set the standard for team culture. Encourage:
- Psychological safety: Let team members know they can speak up if they hear something exclusionary.
- Ongoing learning: Consider integrating micro-trainings on inclusion, respect, and communication.
- A culture of accountability: Make it clear that inclusion isn’t just a policy—it’s part of how the team works together every day.
The Bottom Line
An offhand joke might seem small, but your response as a leader carries weight. Addressing it thoughtfully, fostering reflection, and reinforcing an inclusive culture ensures that your team continues to be a place where everyone feels valued and respected.
Ultimately, it’s not about policing humor—it’s about making sure the workplace is a space where all employees can thrive.